What is childhood trauma and do you have it?

 Learn About Trauma

Read below to understand signs childhood trauma may be affecting you, common trauma triggers, what trauma has to do with feminine and masculine energy, and startling statistics on trauma.

According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACES), 61% of all people had at least one experience with childhood trauma.

And 16% had four or more experiences out of a total of ten key traumatic childhood experiences identified by the study. 
If you're ready to get started taking action to heal, you can download our free Trauma Healing Start Kit below,

 Signs Trauma Might Be Affecting You


You feel mentally and physically overwhelmed, and your body is manifesting unhealed pain in the form of mental or physical illness. Perhaps you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, anxiety, or you have an autoimmune disease or other chronic health problem. 

2 - You've tried talk therapy

You may have spent time and money on talk therapy or other healing modalities like EMDR, or NLP and you still don’t feel the way you want to feel. You likely still feel disconnected from your body, numb or over-anxious, and like you are far from reaching your big goals.

3 - You don't feel like yourself

Maybe you don’t know who you are, or you notice that you act like a different person around different people. Chances are you lock away parts of yourself you don’t think other people will like, and you don’t even really like these parts. You are not fully expressed in all areas of your life or with all people, and this makes you feel stifled, small, and like you don’t fully fit in anywhere.

4 - You can't stop your patterns

You recognize some of your patterns that you can’t seem to stop. Maybe you have a problem with procrastinating, overeating, starting and stopping with a goal, or maybe it shows up in your relationships. Maybe you attract the same type of romantic partner again and again, or you bounce back and forth between extremes of “nice guys” and “abusive guys” or two types of people. Maybe you have a cycle of quitting jobs after just a few months or not being able to commit to change. Or maybe you find yourself living paycheck to paycheck no matter how much money you make. And on some level you know you are repeating the stories and patterns but you can’t seem to stop…

How do I know if it's trauma or not?

It's normal to question whether what you experienced as a child was "traumatic" or not.

The word trauma can be scary to use because it comes with a whole host of cultural and societal assumptions.

Like, if you say you experienced trauma, people might think you were beaten, sexually assaulted, or something else extreme.

But the truth about trauma is that the real definition is not WHAT happened to you, but how it affected you.

So you could have had something happen as a child that was too much, too fast, or too soon, and you didn't recover. That's trauma.

Childhood trauma can be anything that happened too much, too fast, or too soon, and you didn't fully recover.

Any event or situation that caused enough distress, fear, or sense of powerlessness that your child self did not recover qualifies as trauma.

Things most people think of as childhood trauma

  • A parent who regularly pushed, grabbed, slapped, or threw things at you
  • ​Living with a problem drinker or alcoholic, or someone who used street drugs
  • ​Sexual abuse ranging from unwanted touching to forced intercourse

Things not everyone realizes is still childhood trauma

  • Not feeling emotionally safe and taking on a sense of responsibility for one or both of your parents' emotions
  • Having your thoughts or emotions controlled by your parents or family
  • Growing up in a family where boundaries were either loose or completely nonexistent 
If you're ready to get started taking action to heal, you can download our free Trauma Healing Start Kit below,

 Common Trauma Triggers

People who are thoughtless or oblivious to others

Ex: People who talk loudly on the phone in public; getting cut off in traffic → This sends you into an outraged or distressed state.

Struggle saying no and expecting mind reading

Ex: Someone asks you to go above and beyond, and you know you can’t do it without compromising yourself, but you say yes anyway, and then you are resentful that the person didn’t anticipate your needs. → This sends you into a state of resentment.

Having someone be mad at you or being misunderstood

Ex: You’re buying something for under $5 and the cashier is disgusted with you because you aren’t paying with cash. → This sends you into a state of shame.

Other People’s Moods

Ex: Worrying what other people aren’t telling us and believing we are the cause of their moods. → This causes you to get consumed by anxiety or insecurity.


Ex: You haven’t heard back from a job yet; you don’t know how a date went; you’re trying to make plans and the other person hasn’t gotten back to you; etc → This causes you to get consumed by anxiety or insecurity.

Getting Any Kind of Feedback

Positive Feedback - Ex: You get complimented but it feels bad/yucky because you don’t believe it

Negative Feedback - Ex: You get a negative comment on social media and you spiral into negative self-talk

Neutral Feedback - Ex: You ask how your cooking was and your partner says “It was fine” and you go into a state of anxiety/insecurity because you believe you don’t know how they truly felt about the meal.

How does TRAUMA intersect with feminine and masculine energy?

 Masculine energy produces results, bringing forth qualities like focus, direction, presence, commitment. Regardless of gender, we all NEED to be able to harness this energy… right?
 Feminine energy brings play, creativity, openness, and flexibility. We all need this too!
Trauma survivors often have a suppressed feminine energy because it feels unsafe to play, be creative, and be open. To a trauma survivor, having “Fun” doesn’t always feel safe in the nervous system, so we can be very serious people, or often use humor as a shield.
When a person feels unsafe expressing their feminine energy they use their masculine energy as a “shield” to guard against possible threats. This looks like being controlling, overly assertive, overly protective, and hyper-productive.  This shield can feel so comfortable that we think it’s natural… we don’t even realize that our true essence is buried under layers of coping mechanisms.
 Now, if you are a woman, being in this energy all the time can be very physically draining to your nervous system.
If you don’t feel safe in your feminine you will use your masculine energy to feel safe, and that often looks like a rigidly controlled, and even manipulative energy. It's not your fault, it's the trauma. The result of this masculine shielding is that you’re tired, you’re not satisfied, you’re not getting the the safety you need because it's not coming from within.
 Trauma often leads to us wearing a masculine shield, and you don't even realize it because society encourages and rewards the traits of this shield.

What happens when you heal trauma holistically, from the root?

 Break the cycle and get out from underneath the weight of generational trauma.
 Relief from anxiety, depression, and chronic illness. 
 A NEW APPROACH to healing trauma that isn’t based on the medical model of talking it out or medicating it away. 
 Healing and feeling that you belong and enjoy being known and loved. 

The 5 Domains of Trauma Recovery

The Inner Light Healing framework for trauma recovery includes five domains.


Raising our awareness and changing our thoughts. Includes things like therapy, mindfulness, and meditation.


Being present in your body, connecting to your physical sensations, and healing your nervous system. Includes somatic experiencing, yoga, and other embodiment techniques.


Releasing toxic religious beliefs, connecting deeply with your personal spiritual beliefs, and making sense of your life purpose and past experiences.


Becoming a creator of your reality requires that you balance your innate feminine and masculine energy and heal energetic wounds.


Happiness, presence, and peace all come when you learn to surrender through chaos and confusion. 

Trauma Healing Starter Kit

What's inside the starter kit?

 Trauma Healing Modalities
Learn about the top-down, bottom-up, and soul-deep approaches that can help you heal trauma.
 Assess Yourself Worksheet
This worksheet will help you take inventory of the healing methods and approaches you have tried, and which areas you may need.
 Getting Resourced Worksheet
This worksheet will help you map out specific tools, trainings, and information you need in each of the five domains of trauma recovery.
 Create a Roadmap
When it comes to taking action, trauma can cause us to delay out of fear. The only way to heal is to take action even when it feels scary, and this worksheet will show you how!
 Tools in EACH of the 5 domains including a brand new Inner Child Reparenting Meditation 
This is your starting point for connecting with your inner child and releasing trauma. You'll discover where your inner child lives and get to have a powerful conversation with them.
 Success Stories and inspiration from real people who have holistically healed their trauma!

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